More than 5 years ago, shortly after I retired, the matrix of my former life suddenly and unexpectedly became more mutable than it had ever been. I had no ties or obligations to a particular place. I remained a parent, but mostly at a distance. All the normal reference points of identity and behaviors either loosened or disappeared. In the midst of radical uncertainty, I felt an unfamiliar and delicious lightness.
I have an orientation to dharma study and practice. I decided to indulge my unending curiosity, explore a new lifestyle and a new intention: more spontaneity, radical presence, fearlessness, creative integrity and no regrets.
These conditions presented opportunities to blend life and practice, to make life as practice a more immediate reality. The world needs more of this anyway. A lot more.
Who would I become? A global nomad? A divine madman? A lion, unafraid? Unattached, like the wind? Or like space, not relying on anything? All of the above? Whatever it became, I desired to be more fluid and, I hoped, living closer to the truth.
I’ve explored new surroundings (Southeast Asia for most of the past four years), new activities, new endeavors and associations (developing an alternative energy product for deployment in Laos). Looked at individually, they may seen disparate. But together, they have become an enriching and provocative path.
My identity and satisfaction have deepened as a writer, now as a more deeply embedded activist, blending and bleeding spirituality into politics and personal growth such that they become one–or disappear altogether. I still seek the safety of the familiar in many small ways…. yet also have been able to permit structure to fall away.
This is an exploration of what arises in the moment, spontaneous presence, Being being Itself through Us as beings, seen through the lens of Vajrayana and Dzogchen and the offerings of my precious teachers. All appearances, all perceptions are both real and illusory, arising spontaneously from the immeasurable potentiality of nothing whatsoever; their essence empty, clear, unitary, open and unlimited.
Personal attainment does not depend on a permanent achievement of selflessness, but rather on a capacity to live in a stable awareness of both appearance and emptiness (no self) as One.
This is the reality of appearance and the truth of emptiness, realized in the moment. What possibilities does this open? What does such a condition call for? — a freshness, simplicity and joyful, open presence: the roots of authentic compassion-surely the important challenge for every life in every time.
Who am I becoming? An argonaut of the ineffable? A surfer on the turbulent poetics of decolonization, Deep Adaptation and responding in the most honest way possible to the emergence (and emergency) of this world.